It’s the last few hours of 2012 here in California, and I’ve got some resolutin’ to do. I haven’t posted anything in over a month because I had begun to think of this as a portfolio of (almost) finished pieces. That is just intimidating enough to ensure I will never write here again.
1. I resolve to treat this as the web hustle it deserves to be : good, bad, and hasty writing will co-mingle. Quantity is quality here at the dog.
2. I will bustle 3 times a week. Let’s see how quickly that goes south. But it might not. I have also been keeping a journal, and lately my entries are ten to fifteen pages each. I find that writing is the best way to write more.
3. I resolve to be a working writer again. It’s taken most of a year for my faculties and my energy to bubble up to the surface again after all my super fun crappums of the past decade. Five years ago, I wasn’t able to hold a thought long enough to write it down. A year ago, I was micro-napping so furiously that I couldn’t finish a paragraph of even the most basic prose without having to come back to it several times. Lately, I feel how I felt when I first began to realize I love to write : I’m myself. That’s the only way I’ve ever been able to tell that I am a writer, and that deeply gratifying sense of being where I belong has returned.
I am fifty years old and I am all promise and very little show to this point. It’s nasty to realize most people my age have either reached the zenith of their accomplishments or are nearly there. I cannot think about things like that if I want to do anything great. Don’t look back. But the truth is I am about to be serious about my work for the first time in my life.